Some days you’re just not meant to die, I guess. For one Colorado Springs woman, yesterday was not her day – literally … nor was it her day to die.
What started out as a simple day on a jogging path quickly turned into being stalked by a bear. Apparently the bear saw her and picked up the pace as she did. She went from a fast walk to a jog – then the bear went to a full-on sprint, only he had four paws compared to her two legs. Well this woman was smart enough to know she was being out-foxed by a bear so she headed for the highway.
Unfortunately as she bolted into traffic she must have been distracted by the fast-approaching fuzzy-ass brown bear behind her so she didn’t notice the on-coming cars. That’s when she was hit from behind by a 70-year old unidentified driver (you guessed it – hit and run) who, rather than stopping, rolled down her window and yelled out, “I slooooowwwed down!” Now I don’t know about you, but when I’m 5 months pregnant, being chased by a bear, and hit by a blind 70 year-old driver, THAT’S exactly what I want – is for someone to yell out that she slowed down vs. stop and open her door to save me from the sprinting bear!
In the end, the jogging pregnant woman got away from the bear, the bear was killed by the authorities, the pregnant woman did not deliver her baby prematurely, and the police are still looking for the runaway 70 year-old driver who left the scene of the accident.
The odd twist to the story is where the victim (a.k.a. almost bear lunch and road-kill pregnant woman) and her husband went to find the dead bear to make peace with it because they felt sorry for it. The authorities put it down because it showed no fear of humans and this, supposedly is dangerous. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? You know – when people show no fear of bears – now that is dangerous – right? But after making peace with the bear, the couple has decided they will indeed name their child after the fuzzy guy, and their baby’s middle name will be – you guessed it – not Smokey, but – Bear. I’m wondering if “Bear” will have a beautiful brown bearskin rug under his crib in his room too? Would that be a little much?
Life's a Laugh Blog 